and inquiries
The thing I don't like about growing up is the gnawing sense that the dreams I once held dear are, in fact, quite silly and unattainable. The more I learn, the more helpless I feel, in some ways. I don't mean to depress, but there it is...
When I was young, I wanted to be an artist. Then a doctor or a veterinarian. I didn't have to think about the realities of these fields. I only had to have an image, an ideal, and play the part as best a five- or 12-year-old can. Which, of course, I've learned is nothing like actially doing it.
As I've grown up, I've found it increasingly difficult to dream. It seems wrong to try on shoes I'll immediately realize I have no intention of buying, and so settle for the ordinary, the mundane, the usual, and refuse to buy new until I absolutely must. -- Perhaps my relationship with footwear truly is metaphorical to my career path. What a pathetic statement that would be.
As we grow up, we leave things behind. Some of us leave dreams; others, more concrete reminders of an innocence that couldn't last. These losses leave us with a worldview that is fuller, crisper, more detailed, but ultimately heartbroken.
They say you never get over your first...