Cultural Vegetarianism: some thoughts from a neurotic nonconformist

Some of you might not relate to this. I know even some of my close friends shake their heads and chuckle softly when I start saying something like, "You know how sometimes, you...?" No, actually, Emily, I don't, they tell me. I guess some of my ideas and quirks are rather odd, or at least unusual, but try to see it from my perspective: I try not to think of all of you as weird because you don't believe what I believe. We're all individuals here, right?

I know I've certainly always been a little different. An outcast in grade school, somewhere along the line that became a role to which I suited myself. I don't think I try to be different; it just happens that way. It must have something to do with neurons connecting in strange places. I frequently "decide" to voluntairly abstain from some societal thing--something I like to call cultural vegetarianism.

Take, for example, my recent decision that Television Is Bad. My siblings watch television constantly in the basement at our house, each having a number of shows they watch regularly. Most of these are cartoons--they're both Japanese anime fans--thought my brother enjoys "educational" programs on the History Channel (motto: All Hitler, All the Time). They are always talking about Sailor Moon and Dragonball Z. My mom is just as bad, watching a ten o'clock drama nearly every night. I used to be just like them. I will admit to enjoying shows like Kids in the Hall and The Simpsons and even recall a time in middle school that I watched Beverly Hills, 90210. However, over the past four years, I have been increasingly drawn to spend my time in a more interactive fashion online--even if it is as horrendously unproductive--and my disgust for such mindless entertainment as provided by the ol' cathode ray has grown.

Since recognizing this blossoming repulsion, I have noticed just how often the people around me seemto allow the wretched thing to envelop their daily routines and conversations, and it scares me. Call it paranoia, but I'm sticking with the anti-TV T-shirt I recently purchased: "Why do you think they call it programming?"

Of course, television is not the only meat I quit eating. Clothes shopping is difficult, and not only because I don't exactly fit in what the skinny-girl stores are selling. I can't wear anything I somehow associate with trendiness or the quirky style of a particular subculture. Certainly clothes are clothes and I should wear what I like and what fits me okay, but it's such an internal struggle. Even the thought of dyeing my hair red again irks me a little after seeing so many other kids do the same Manic Panic thing. (Granted, this is one case I won't let my neuroses stop me. I like having red hair, and dyeing is fun.) I don't wear makeup or see any reason I should, and I'm not giving up my glasses for contact lenses.

There are a few things I protest or avoid on principle, no matter how silly it seems to everyone else. I haven't attended a school dance yet, nor have I any intention of doing so--yup, that means I'm *gasp* missing my senior prom! My boyfriend, who lives out of state, even offered to fly into town for the occasion, so it's not just that I'm rationalizing my bitterness about not having a date. I didn't buy graduation announcements. Something about spending so much money to get generic cards to send to my parents' many friends and relatives in hopes that they will reward my culmination of twelve years' education with cold hard cash doesn't sit well with me. I can at least make my own creatively generic cards for that purpose. I also avoided obtaining my driver's license until after my 18th birthday because I hate driving--because it is a give and a societal rite of passage, so expensive and bad for the environment, people in cars do very stupid things.

Then again, even the most understandable of counterculture impulses requires a strong will to keep up. I stopped caring about "good music" and "bad music" awhile ago and just listen to what I like, which means I can listen to Madonna without hating myself because she's corporate, derivative pop. (To be sure, there are far worse offenders in that category.) I can hate commercial radio all I want, but there are times I find that NPR's jazz is just far too sickening to be the only noise in the car. Yeah, and I have to drive a lot more often than I'd like. I even ate a fast-food hamburger from a drive-through a few weeks ago.

(from The Olympus)